


In Memoriam

by Tkis



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, F/F, Mild Language, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-12 08:49:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3350654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkis/pseuds/Tkis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been blissful, for a time. Those first few months at the beginning, when everything was going well, and there was nothing they couldn't do. She had thought it would last forever, that her joy would be unending. Oh how wrong she was.</p>
<p> After dissapearing from school, Weiss hasn't spoken to Ruby in nearly a month. </p>
<p>TW for depression, alcoholism, language and self harm</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Abandoned again

It had been blissful, for a time. Those first few months at the beginning, when everything was going well, and there was nothing they couldn’t do. She had thought it would last forever, that her joy would be unending. Oh how wrong she was. Not long after Weiss’ eighteenth birthday, Ruby began to notice a change, one that she couldn’t understand, no matter how hard she might try. And make no mistake, she had tried. Over and over again, to no avail. Everything she could think of, no matter how small, she had tried it. Giving her girlfriend space, spending more time with her, taking her to see her favourite play, even that thing she liked. That thing with her hair. None of it had worked, and over the coming months, Weiss had continued to drift away from her, growing so distant Ruby wasn’t even sure she knew her anymore. It hurt, knowing she couldn’t help, that she wasn’t enough. It hurt more than anything Ruby could ever have imagined. She spent her nights alone now, lying awake, wondering if it was because of her. If she’d done something, or simply if Weiss no longer loved her. But the worst part? The worst part was wondering if there was someone else. Someone else out there that could make Weiss happy, and wondering why it was no longer her.

Too long. These fears had been with her too long. Too long, gnawing at her mind. Too long, playing upon her doubts and insecurities. One evening in mid-August, as summer was drawing to a close, it became too much. After what was possibly her worst day at school in living memory, Ruby had come home, thrown her bag down by the door and collapsed on the couch. Pulling her phone out, she sent Weiss an after-school message, as per usual.

[New message]: Weiss:  
 _Hey sweetie how was your day?_  
mine wasn’t very good… actually it was pretty bad  
it gets really lonely now that you’ve stopped coming  
and with yang and blake gone…   
I don’t know  
I just… I miss you weiss  
I really do  
could you message me back this time…? please?  
I love you weiss xoxo  <3

She hit send with a sigh, stuffing her phone under the couch cushion and curling up, not bothering to take her boots off. How many times had she done this now? How many nights had she lay here, waiting for a response she knew wouldn’t come? She felt that familiar prickling, crawling through her gut and up her throat, promptly reaching her eyes. Silently cursing herself, Ruby tried in vain to force back the single tear that rolled down her cheek, dampening the upholstery.

  
_‘How many?’_

  
She told herself not to do it. She knew she’d regret it. Yet she still found herself reaching for her phone, swiping her password and scrolling back through the messages. Back to the last message Weiss had sent her, over a month ago.

[Message]: Queenie: 28/6/14 - 1:19 PM  
 _Hey princess still coming over after school?  
<3_

[Message reply]: Queenie: 28/6/14 - 2:47 PM  
 _Yeah_

And that was it. One word. Not, a comment about the pet-name. Nothing. She remembered the afternoon; walking in and dropping onto the couch like always, Weiss sitting down beside her with all her usual elegance. Flicking the TV on, she’d cuddled up next to her girlfriend, taking comfort in the arm draped across her shoulders. Though looking back, Ruby was certain even that was forced. Or maybe she was just being paranoid. She didn’t know anymore. She didn’t know what to make of the time they shared, whether it was real. And that scared her. She kept scrolling.

[Message]: Queenie: 29/6/14 - 10:12 AM  
 _Hey why arent you at school?_  
everything ok?  
<3

[Message]: Queenie: 29/6/14 - 5:17 PM  
 _Weiss im really freaking out here_  
are you ok?   
can I come over?  
<3

There where messages like that for hours, and a dozen unanswered calls to-boot. Feeling her chest constrict, Ruby skipped ahead a few weeks.

[Message]: Queenie: 18/7/14 - 4:26 PM  
 _You havent been at school all week and you wont answer my messages or calls_  
every time I come over your ‘not there’  
why not?   
whats wrong?  
I love you  
<3

[Message]: Weiss: 23/7/14 - 11:54 PM  
 _did I do something?_  
im sorry for whatever it was just please  
please message me?  
im worried about you…

A few days later, she finally resigned herself to not hearing back from Weiss. For almost a month she hadn’t been at school. Ruby had seen her twice throughout this whole period. The first was when she let herself into her house uninvited. What she had seen scared her; Weiss was lying, barely conscious, on her bed, empty bottles strewn about her room. Ruby had wanted to scream and shout and plead for her to stop, to talk to her. Instead, she settled for a whispered conversation, though how much of it Weiss understood was a mystery. Not long after, Weiss had passed out, and Ruby simply cuddled her until she had to leave. The next, she was leaving school with her father. Ruby had called out to her that time, but whether Weiss heard her or not, she left without saying a word. A few days later Ruby had started sending a nightly message. Not with any real hope of hearing from her girlfriend, if she was indeed still her girlfriend. No, she was sending these messages for two reasons: one, to assure Weiss that she loved her, and two, to keep herself sane. It had become her routine, to send these messages, almost as a form of therapy. It gave her something to look forward to, the night when she finally got a reply, but it never came. A few times she had tried apologizing, for whatever it was she had done, however,that yielded no better results.

Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, sobs wracking her small body. Ruby wasn’t sure how long she lay there, but it was noticeably darker the next time she opened her eyes. So absorbed in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear the door click closed.

“Ruuubes, I’m home!” Yang called into the house. Ruby froze, desperately trying to control her ragged breathing. She wiped her eyes on a sleeve and did her best to look at ease. Her best wasn’t very convincing.

Yang stopped dead when she saw her sister. She’d caught her crying more times than she was comfortable with lately, but usually Ruby had in under control enough that Yang could pretend she didn’t see anything. She was sick with worry, but she got the impression it was a topic she would do well to avoid. Seeing her like that though, eyes puffy and bloodshot, cheeks stained with tears, there was no way she could overlook this anymore. Her helmet and keys clattered to the ground as Yang almost ran to the couch.

“Shit Rubes!” she gasped, sitting down and gathering her up in a hug, gentler than her usual brand of rib-cracking affection. “Hey, hey.” She cooed, trying to calm her distraught sister. “What is it? What’s wrong?” She hoped against hope it wasn’t what she suspected. It took some time for Ruby to calm down enough to speak, her breath hitching at every attempt. By the time she got a word out, they were sitting in almost total darkness, the only light coming from the screen of Ruby’s phone. And after all that, all Ruby said was:

“I’m fine, Yang. Thanks, but don’t worry ‘bout it.” Yang almost screamed, though she managed to hold it in; just. Instead, she opted for a gentler tactic.

“It’s Weiss… isn’t it?” She queried hesitantly. Ruby shook her head, whether trying to deny it, or simply not wanting to enter into conversation, Yang couldn’t tell.

“It’s fine, really.” She paused for a moment. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Ruby Rose, don’t you dare move.” Yang growled, using her ‘work’ voice; usually reserved for unruly club goers. Ruby whipped her head around, dropping back onto the couch in surprise. For a moment she swore she caught a crimson glint in her sister’s lilac eyes, her brow creasing, before shaking it off.

_‘A trick of the light.’_

Struck dumb by the steel in her voice, Ruby simply glared.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Why haven’t I heard from, let-alone seen, Weiss in almost a month?” Yang sat glowering in silence, arms folded, awaiting a response. Seconds ticked by. Just as she thought she wasn’t going to get an answer, Ruby spoke.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Apparently she was right.

“Duly noted, now tell me everything.” Yang sighed. She was over this. She would bully the answer out of her if she had to, comfort zone be damned.

“Yang,” Ruby replied flatly, looking her sister in the eye. “I said I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Hmm….” Yang put a finger to her lips in mock contemplation. “You seem to have missed the part where I don’t give a shit.” She replied with her usual sarcasm, though the humour Ruby had come to expect under her words was absent. Glancing across, she barely had time to let out an ‘eep’ before being engulfed in another of Yang’s ‘Big-sister’ hugs. When she spoke, Ruby felt herself go cold. In all her seventeen years, she had never once heard her sister sound so afraid, so…

“Ruby _please_ , please tell me what’s wrong.” Yang pleaded, her voice cracking.

‘ _Desperate._ ’

It had been so long since Yang had let her composure slip, that note of fear and doubt seeping into her tone. She couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t been in control, and she was afraid; for Ruby and herself. Her little sister had always come to her when she needed help, except now. This time she hadn’t sought Yang out, instead secluding herself, gradually growing more and more despondent. Yang had thought that Ruby just needed time, and she would come to her when she was ready, as always. However as time went by, first days, and then weeks, it became clear that wasn’t going to happen. Coming home one particular Thursday evening, she had walked in on her sister, curled up, crying on the couch; the last straw. And thus, Yang found herself holding Ruby in her arms, unsure of what she should, or even could, do.

“I-I don’t know.” Ruby quaked, unsure of how to respond. This was the invincible Yang Xiao Long, the girl who had never backed down from a fight, who had always faced every challenge, whether it be improving her track time, or learning to bake cookies, head on, with a cocky smirk and a witty one-liner. And here she was, unable to stop herself trembling. Yang hadn’t cried a day in her life, as far as Ruby was aware. If her big sister had lost the plot, what was she to do? Ruby’s breathing sped up, her heart pounding in her chest as she began to panic. She clutched at Yang’s clothes, burying her face in her neck as she sobbed. Yang murmured in her ear, soothing words rolling off her tongue, just like after Summer had left, when she would try in vain to comfort her confused sister, who could do nothing but tearfully ask where their mother was, not comprehending why she hadn’t come home. She ran her fingers through silky red-black hair, the way she had done since they were little, on those nights when Ruby would crawl her way into Yang’s bed after a nightmare, seeking the comfort of another warm body. She held her close, as she had since before she could remember.

“Tell me…” Yang begged, praying she would have more luck this time. Ruby didn’t respond straight away, instead sniffling against her sister’s neck, debating whether or not to respond.

“She hasn’t spoken to me in weeks Yang!” She burst out, the words coming in a rush. “I don’t know what to do, every time I try and talk to her she just ignores me, it’s like I don’t exist! Is it my fault?”

“No, no of course not, don’t say that.” Whether or not that was true, Yang didn’t know, but like hell she was going to tell her sister it _might_ be her fault right now. It was comfort she needed, not honesty.

“What did I do to make her this angry at me? I’ve apologised so many times, and I don’t even know what for! She never answers my calls, and whenever I go over there her dad just says ‘she isn’t in’, but she never goes anywhere, and she doesn’t go to school anymore, so she’s _gotta_ be in there. Has she told him not to let me in?” She ranted rhetorically, knowing Yang couldn’t give her an answer. “I just want her to talk to me, even if it’s just to yell at me, it’d be better than this!”

“Ruby stop. Just calm down, this isn’t helping.” Yang said bracingly, tucking an auburn strand behind her ear. “Look, I’ll tell ya what,” She began, letting her sister go and looking into her iron eyes. “I’m gonna go get pizza and you” She emphasized the last word, cutting Ruby off before she could interrupt. “are going to choose a movie, then grab every single pillow, blanket and teddy bear in this house and meet me back here in an hour, got it?”

“But I-“

“ _Got it?”_ Silence.

“Yeah, ok.” Ruby mumbled, the ghost of a smile passing across her lips as she dried her eyes. “Thanks, Yang.”

“Sure, anytime.” Yang grinned, relieved that her ploy worked. “I’ll be back soon, get to work!” She grunted, jumping off the couch and picking up her helmet and keys.

“Slave driver.” Ruby laughed slightly.

“If it gets results.” Yang shrugged. “I want that movie ready to go as soon as I walk in the door, Rubes.” Ruby stuck her tongue out in response; a good sign. Yang gave a parting wink, letting her face drop as the door clicked shut behind her. With a sigh, she ran her fingers through her hair and donned her helmet, walking over and swinging her leg over Bumblebee, giving the gleaming bike an affectionate pat.

‘ _And here I was hoping for a quiet evening.’_ She slid the key in and gave it a turn, the engine roaring into life. Tearing out of the driveway, she turned right, away from the city.

‘ _A slight detour first.’_

She thought to herself grimly, racing towards the residence of one Weiss Schnee.

 


	2. Discovery

**I’m a bit late to the party, but this is dedicated to Monty Oum. His death hit me pretty hard, but I’m not whining about it again. If you want my thoughts on the matter they can be found at http://sunandblaketho.tumblr.com/search/monty+oum.  
#CreativeForMonty**

**TW for language, alcoholism and self-harm. Skip the last line if self-harm bothers you and you want still want to read the chapter, but the next one’s going to be very graphic.**

 

“Look, I don’t know the full story, I don’t _know_ what’s going on, all I know is what I’ve seen, and what I’ve seen isn’t pretty. I’m sick of coming home and finding my sister in tears. Why do you get rid of her every time she comes over?” Yang asked, arms folded over her chest and a trace of anger seeping into her voice. The atrium was quite large, easily two or three times the length of Yang and Ruby’s lounge room, and just as wide. In the middle was a vast dining table, a hole in the centre to allow room for a large, circular fireplace, currently unused, the bluestone chimney disappearing into the second-story rafters. The ceiling was dotted with skylights along the entire length, most of them open to allow cool air to flow into the warm room. There were large double doors at each end, one which Yang had entered through, the other leading to a large, open courtyard. Hallways branched off from the main structure, intersected with various pieces of art, from paintings to statues. Nestled in a corner were several armchairs surrounding a small round coffee-table. There Yang currently sat, her quarrel across from her.

“Why? Because I was asked to, simple as that.” Weiss’ father stated plainly. “I know this is hard for all involved, especially the girls, but this is their business and if Weiss thinks this is best then I trust her judgement.”

“How can you say that?” Yang demanded, somehow keeping herself civil. “How can you possibly agree with this!?”

“I never once said I agreed with it.” He responded sharply, glasses amplifying his frosty blue stare. Yang blinked in surprise; recoiling slightly. She’d never seen him irritated, much less at her.

“I’m sorry, it’s just-“

“You’re worried about your sister?” He guessed, tone and glare softening slightly. She nodded.

“Like you said, this is their business, but at least give them a chance to sort it out.”

“I am not preventing anything.”

“You are though. Pulling Weiss out of school, away from her friends, letting her lock herself away in her room, keeping Ruby out. Of course you’re preventing it.” His brow knitted together, the corners of his mouth turning downwards ever so slightly.

“If my daughter wishes to speak to Ruby, she is free to do so.”

“This isn’t just about Weiss!”

“Nor is it just about Ruby.”

“Giving her a say doesn’t make it all about her!” Yang fumed.

“I am doing what is best for my daughter. She is my highest priority in this situation and must come before others. As a parent, that is the only way.”

“This isn’t what’s best for her though! How can you not see that?” After an uncomfortably long pause, he sighed, wearily rubbing his temples.

“I am not in the habit of repeating myself.” He said shortly, gaze never faltering. He was accustomed to being in a position of power, being tested was irksome. “Weiss is a big girl, and is more than capable of making her own decisions, _regardless_ ,” He stressed, silencing Yang before a word could leave her open mouth. “of my thoughts on the matter.” She was quiet for a moment.

“If she’s so capable, did you give her a choice about leaving school?”

“I see no reason why I should justify my parenting to you.”

“So the answer’s no.” She said condescendingly, baiting him. He took a deep breath, an attempt to control his rising frustration.

“This is a necessary step towards her inheriting my company. There never _was_ a choice.”

“In other words, she can make her own decisions when _you_ _decide_ to let her?”

“My patience is running thin, Miss Xiao Long. Do not assume that I will tolerate being challenged in my own house simply because I like you. Outside of her education, Weiss has been denied no freedom. Her personal life is her own affair.”

“She’s eighteen! How is she supposed to learn to deal with her problems if you’ve always made them go away for her? What kind of a CEO will she make if her response to issues is to ignore them? You’re her father! You’re meant to teach her these things!”

“You presume to tell me how to raise my own daughter?” He asked, voice low and threatening.

“Damn straight I do! Because _your_ fuck-up is hurting others! Not just your own daughter but my sister as well! People I care about!” Yang could almost feel the temperature dropping, but she was beyond caring.

“Out.” She barely heard him, the word scarcely more than a whisper. “Out! Out I said! Get out!” His voice rose to a roar. He leapt to his feet, fists clenched. Yang stood to meet him, defiantly holding his stare. “I want you out of my house!” spittle flew from his mouth as he furiously motioned to the door. She considered listening to him.

‘ _No wonder he always gets what he wants._ _He’s intimidating, downright terrifying when he wants to be.’_

“No. I came here for a reason and I won’t be bullied.”

“Nor will I.”

“I’m not trying to bully you!” Yang screamed, stomping in frustration. “I’m asking for your help!”

“You have an interesting way of going about it.” He replied coldly, rage firmly in hand: the head of the world’s second largest mining firm needed to be more level headed; losing his temper was unsightly. He strode past her and across the hall, throwing the front doors open. “You need to leave.”

“Why are you so opposed to this!? All I’m asking is that you let Ruby talk to her!”

“Weiss will never learn if I coddle her as you’re suggesting. She needs to realize that her choices, as well as their consequences, are her own.” He made a point of holding the door for her, a breeze gently blowing into the room.

“You _are_ coddling her you fool!” Yang began walking towards him, running her fingers through her hair in exasperation. The twitch in his right eye didn’t go unnoticed.

“I am letting her make a decision, nothing more.”

“By giving her exactly what she wants you’ve already decided for her! That girl’s never heard a ‘no’ in her life! If you wanted to help her, you’d tell her to confront her problems, instead of hiding from them.”

“And what about Ruby?”

“What about her?” Yang halted, caught off guard.

“Trying to solve her problems for her seems awfully hypocritical.”

“No. The difference is Ruby has tried, _so_ hard, to fix this herself, and you’re stopping her. I’m not trying to ‘solve her problems for her’ I’m trying to give her the chance to solve them herself. You should do the same.” Yang stepped through the front doors, shoulders square.

“Good day, Yang.” The door began to close.

“Wait.” Yang stopped in her tracks as a thought came to her. “Before, you told me you ‘never said you agreed with it’.” He froze. “And then later you said ‘regardless of your thoughts on the matter’. I _know_ you don’t like this. I know you want to let Ruby in. You want them to deal with this just as much as I do. Please.” Yang pleaded, looking over her shoulder. “Please, let Ruby in, just once, so they can talk about this.”

“Need I explain to you the definition of ‘regardless’?” He hissed through gritted teeth.

“You think you’re doing what’s best for Weiss, but you’re not.” She ignored his comment, pushing on desperately. “Stop shielding her from her choices, which iswhat you’re doing, _regardless_ of your thoughts on the matter.”

“Get out of here you impertinent girl.” He sighed tiredly, voice flat. Yang turned away, resigned. “And tell Ruby she is welcome so long as it is not during Weiss’ study hours.” She heard the door bang shut, mouth falling open.

‘ _Holy shit._ _I did it.’_

 

“Knew it.” Yang muttered through a mouthful of pizza, closing the empty box and frisbeeing it towards the bin.

“Of course you did. You were insisting he was a good guy the whole way through.” Ruby rolled her eyes.

“Quiet you.” She barked once her mouth was empty. They watched the finale in relative silence, broken only by the Yang’s occasional muttering about how predictable it was. “So…” Yang began as the credits rolled a few minutes later. “Any joy with Weiss?” for a while she didn’t think she’d get an answer, the room silent but for the theme music.

“No. I haven’t spoken to her.”

“Yeah, but you’ve gotta have some sort of kick-ass plan to get her back, right?”

“Not really… I think it’s time I took a hint.” Ruby sighed quietly.

“Well alright then, quitter.” Yang leaned over and flicked her ear, earning a scowl.

”I’ve tried every day for months, Yang. Lay off.” Ruby huffed angrily, rubbing her ear.

“Sure,” Yang nodded agreeably, “and now you’re giving up, which makes you…” She flicked her again, “a quitter.”

“I’m going to bed.” Ruby said indignantly, extricating herself from the mountain of blankets.

“Oh c’mon, why don’t you just go talk to her?”

“I’ve tried that. Goodnight.”

“So try again. Come on, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“No.”

“Want me to come with you?”

“I said no.”

“Pussy.” Yang dodged the badly aimed pillow as Ruby climbed over the couch towards her room. “Ok, so I’ll drop ya off after school tomorrow, yeah?” Ruby growled.

“If it’ll shut you up.” She muttered, disappearing out of sight. Yang smiled to herself as she heard Ruby’s door slam, getting up to eject the DVD.

‘ _Eh, one more.’_

She shrugged, surfing their collection until she found something appealing. She hit play before dashing to the kitchen, grabbing a beer and a bag of crisps; she’d hit the gym a little earlier tomorrow, she supposed. Sinking into the couch she cracked her can and took a gulp.

 

Ruby walked towards her sister’s bright yellow bike, looking a sickly mixture of nervous and miserable that Yang would usually associate with exams. Yang tossed her a helmet which, true to form, Ruby fumbled and dropped.

“You’re on your game today.” She smirked.

“Fuck off.” Ruby snapped moodily, her voice lacking the venom the words promised. She stooped to pick up the helmet.

“You’ll be fine sis, don’t worry so much.”

“That’s if I even get through the door.” She mumbled, pulling her helmet on and throwing her leg over the seat.

“I bought chocolate just in case. It’s on the bench.”

“Just…” She took a deep breath. “drive, Yang. Please.”

“You got it cap’in.” Yang exclaimed in a terrible accent. With that she turned the key, a shiver crawling up her spine at the rush she felt every time her engine roared into life. She revved it a few times for show, earning herself a jab to the ribs. “Gotta impress the masses.”

“The only one you’re impressing is yourself.”

“You wound me!” Yang gasped dramatically.

“Drive!” They took off with a screech that made Ruby cringe, tearing up the road and turning right. Houses flew past in a blur, quickly turning into apartment blocks as the high-rise of the city rose to greet them. Their pace slowed as they neared the city centre, traffic lights seeming to sense their approach and turning red. Block by block they crawled between the skyscrapers, rush-hour traffic slowing them further despite Yang’s sub-legal driving. It’d be gridlock soon. The twists and turns rapidly made shambles of her sense of direction, but Ruby knew vaguely where they were. The Vale City Bank loomed ahead of them, easily the tallest building in the city.

‘ _Of all the roads you could’ve taken… don’t you dare turn-_ ‘

The lights changed. They pulled out ahead of the slower cars. Yang turned. Ruby groaned, letting her head fall back. She quickly whipped it forwards again, having decided that was a terrible idea on a bike.

“You had the whole fucking city to drive in… Why’d you pick this way?” She knew there was no way Yang could hear her.

The bike slowed, coming to rest at the intersection. At least there was a lane of cars impeding her view. The lights changed. The lane next to them started moving, cars pulling around the corner. She wanted to scream. Why couldn’t they just cut the traffic? It wasn’t like Yang cared for the rules anyway.

“The world hates me.” She groaned, slumping into her sister’s back. The cars began to thin, and Ruby determinedly turned her head the other way. She wouldn’t look. She wouldn’t let herself think about it. She knew she was a hopeless romantic, and she needed to think clearly on the off chance she actually got in. However, she _was_ a hopeless romantic, and with a sigh, she turned, catching a glimpse of the café through the traffic. The café were Weiss took her on their first date. She felt her chest constrict in that familiar way, her breath hitching. “You fucking idiot.” She muttered to herself, closing her eyes. She was there again, it was so real. The way Weiss had tentatively grabbed her hand, face reddening. Ruby laughed, hot chocolate dribbling out her nose in a most unattractive way and triggering a string of the cutest profanities she’d ever heard. Weiss may have been a bit prissy, but she was _hers_. Her prissy princess. For a while at least. Now she wasn’t so sure. Was Weiss still hers? Was she ever hers? The thought panicked her. Weiss was probably just pretending. She probably had someone else all along. There had to be so many others who could offer her something. What could she ever want with someone like Ruby? Weiss had money, status, good grades, connections, and a guaranteed career. Ruby had… not much at all.

‘ _It was all an act.’_

_‘But why would she act?’_

_‘Why wouldn’t she?’_

_‘She has nothing to gain by acting.’_

_‘And nothing to gain by dating me either.’_

Thoughts tumbled back and forth around her head, logic and paranoia thrown in the ring. She became aware that they were moving again, the soft rumble of an idling engine replaced by the roaring wind pulling at her clothes. Ruby opened her eyes, her vision obscured by a mane of blonde hair being thrown back into her face. Leaning back with more care this time, she realized the bustle of the city had given way to neatly trimmed hedges, large, wrought-iron fences and tall oaks, their limbs grown over the road to form a natural tunnel. Most properties were dotted by an obscenely large house. The ‘Emerald Edge’, as the forest’s outskirts were known, was a popular location for the wealthy to build their excessively decadent manors. She recognized them all; one on the left with half a dozen red brick chimneys, all that could be seen cresting a stone wall, the one across from it that she’d dubbed the ‘tinderbox’ on account of it being rundown and almost entirely wooden, visible through a thin, scraggly hedge. It wasn’t far now. They flew past the huge barbed gates of one of the larger mansions, it’s gargoyle topped posts as unwelcoming as ever. The Schnee manor came into view, starkly white amongst acres of dark green trees and well-tended gardens overflowing with all manner of flowers. Currently, Ruby could think of little that seemed less inviting. They slowed, coming to a halt at the base of a long drive, surfaced with white gravel. With a gulp, Ruby dismounted and took a step away from the bike.

“Good luck, want me to hang around?” Yang asked, flipping her visor up.

“It’s ok, I’ll get a cab back.” She began her walk towards the house.

“Ah, sis?”

“Yeah?” Ruby turned back to see Yang tap her helmet a few times. “Oh, right.” She tugged at the buckle and tossed the helmet to her sister who, unlike her, was able to catch it. “I’ll see you later, I guess.”

“Probably not, I have work tonight. You can feed yourself, yeah?”

“Sure, but I’ll be back before you go.” She replied gloomily.

“Allow time for make-up cuddling.”

“Even if I get past her dad, which I seriously doubt, it’s not like she wants to talk to me anyway.

“Optimism Rubes!” Yang beamed cheerily.

“It’ll just lead to disappointment.”

“Well you’re just peachy today.” Yang grumbled, earning what was clearly meant to be an icy glare. “You’ll be fine, just go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Yang pulled away, doing a U-turn before flying back towards Vale. Looking up at the colossal house, Ruby sighed.

“I am a cliché.” She trudged up the drive, the knot in her stomach twisting tighter with each step. The gardener spotted her and gave her a smile which she attempted to return. Based on his reaction, her acting needed some work. The day was warm and humid, the sticky air clinging to her skin, summer determined to outstay it’s welcome. As she neared the house, she fought the urge to roll her sleeves up; she had to look at least somewhat presentable. Knees shaking, Ruby climbed the front steps to the large wooden doors and rung the bell. She unconsciously wrung her hands together as she waited for them to open. After a while, she began to think no one was coming. As she pressed the bell again the door opened, a shock of white hair appearing.

“Yes, I’m here, what do you want?” Weiss’ father asked impatiently, making Ruby cringe.

“Sorry I-“

“Oh, Ruby.” His tone shifted a little. He seemed almost uncomfortable.

“Yeah I-“

“You’re here to see Weiss?” he cut her off.

“Yeah.” She answered weakly, rubbing the back of her neck. The doors swung open further and he stood to the side.

“She’s in her room.” She was struck dumb a moment.

“Th-thanks!” She walked in, surprised she’d even got this far.

‘ _Yang. It had to be.’_

She crossed the entrance hall, taking the first left and climbing the stairs to the second floor, not sure whether she wanted to run forwards or backwards. It was strange; this nervousness, part of her wanted to sprint up the steps, kick Weiss’ door in and hug her, demanding a reason as to why she hadn’t spoken to her in a month, the other was scared of what the answer would be, wanting to turn tail and run. If Weiss wanted to see her, she would have done so by now; she had to have messed up somehow.

‘ _Or there’s someone else.’_

Taking a deep breath, she fought the mix of excitement and fear, shoved her sleeves up past the elbow and half crawled her way to the landing, her legs seemingly made of jelly.

‘ _One… two…’_

She counted the doors on her left as she went.

‘ _Three… four… five.’_

It was right in front of her. _Weiss_ was right in front of her. All she had to do was reach out and open the door. Her arm wouldn’t move. Or maybe she wouldn’t move it: it was hard to tell. There was no way this would go well. Weiss didn’t want her; she’d just make things worse by trying to see her. She should just leave. It made sense, leave now, before the damage was done. Weiss never even had to know she was there. Her legs wouldn’t move. Or maybe she wouldn’t move them: it was hard to tell.

‘ _Fucking hell.’_

Why was it so hard? Forward or back, it was simple. The safe option was to turn around and leave, but two words refused to let her:

‘ _What if…?’_

What if Weiss did want to see her? What if there was some perfectly simple explanation for it all? The memory of that day returned to her, how the waiter had to ask Weiss to lower her voice. She forced the images from her mind. Because then again, what if Weiss didn’t want to see her? Yes, leaving was the safe option. Her legs were completely numb. They refused to obey her. Or maybe she refused to command them: it was hard to tell.

‘ _Forwards it is then…’_

She tried to ignore the rising queasiness in her gut. Her heart was pounding against her rib cage. She took a breath. Her arm was completely numb. It refused to obey her. No, she refused to command it.

‘ _Pull it together Ruby, this is pathetic. Open the fucking door.’_

With a gulp, she wiped the sweat from her brow and gripped the handle. Turn.

“Weiss…?” She called apprehensively as she cracked the door. No answer. Steeling herself, she pushed it open further. Her mouth fell open. Her legs really were numb. No, more than her legs, her entire body. A scream rose in her throat, but all that emerged was a choked gargle. She took it all in: the blanket of clothes covering the floor, which had grown thicker since she was here last. The empty bottles still scattered across the room, also with new additions. Weiss lying, filthy and unconscious on her bed, sheets tangled around her. And finally, the messy red lines crisscrossing her arms, pale skin Smeared with blood and sweat.


	3. update...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you want me to continue In Memoriam, send me a message, let me know. more details in the chapter

ok, so, i figured instead of just leaving things as they are i'd update anyone who happens to see this on my situation at the moment: i haven't written recreationally in over a year at this point, with my final year of school going on i just didn't have the time, and when i did, i didn't have the energy. that is (slowly) changing, i'm in the planning stages for an original project which i'm really excited about.

HOWEVER, over the year i did get the occasional message asking if i planned on continuing this story, to which i always answered yes, as soon as i am able. that having been said, it's been quite a while since i even looked at, let alone wrote for this story, so while i do still have a basic plan down, i don't really remember the specifics of where i was going and how i was going to do it. now, i was kinda planning on just dropping this story without a word, but i feel pretty guilty doing that given that i've told multiple people i would continue it.

so here's the deal, **if you want me to continue In Memoriam, send me a message, let me know.** if i get a few interested people i'll keep working on it, but there are a few things to keep in mind:

  1. as i said, i haven't written in a while, so my skills will be a little rusty, what that means is that you may notice some slight changes in my style, or you may not, i don't know
  2. i am also financially supporting myself now, and am looking for a job so i can actually pay rent
  3. updates may very well be a bit slow because of this
  4. this story has the possibility of not going where i originally intended. like i said, i don't even remember where that was. if i get some interest and decide to continue it i will of course read what i have already and look over my plans and such. you likely won't even notice this but i thought it was worth mentioning.
  5. it should also be noted that i haven't touched this story since before monty passed. he was, and still is an incredible inspiration to me, as well as a driving force in my life. the only reason i mention this is because when i look over it, or at any point while continuing this story, i may well decide that i am unable to continue. the subject matter is quite painful and with all that's happened i reserve the right to decide i do not wish to have those emotions dredged up constantly. thank you for understanding.



so yeah, that's about it. let me know what you think


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